butterflies in my belly, destiny in my dreams
As I sit here waiting for my flight, I’m reminded of the last time I shared my journey to Costa Rica with you all. It feels different this time—full of nerves, excitement, and a deeper trust in the unknown. The journey isn’t just about returning to a place that has changed me, but about continuing to meet the version of myself that is still unfolding.
In this piece, I reflect on the emotions stirring within me as I step into another chapter of this dream. I hope it inspires you to lean into your own heart’s callings, no matter how big or small. Thank you for being with me on this path, and I’m grateful to share this moment with you.
Butterflies have been in my belly lately. Sometimes, I forget how this feeling of excitement and nervousness can be. The way my stomach speaks to me through waves of sensation and the way the wings within me are wanting to leap and take my every piece, part, and pore with them. It feels like both aliveness and alertness—cautious and courageous—and I’m learning it is time to lift my very back foot up and let it meet the one in front of me.
Right now, I am sitting at O'Hare Airport in Chicago, awaiting my next flight to Houston, Texas, which will eventually land me in San Jose, Costa Rica. It almost feels like a dream that just this morning my husband dropped me off at MBS Airport with love in his eyes and gentleness in his voice, reminding me I have his full support in the seeking and the believing that I can make this dream of mine work. The one where I get to be free and invite others into that spaciousness. The one where I get to be connected to my heart and gut’s guidance, in creating leaps that lift me out of the limited ideas of how I thought I would be in this lifetime, of how I believed I needed to shrink in this world, instead of allowing myself and all my visions of something even bigger and brighter to take up space—and to tune into the trust of my own timing and trajectory without the need to compromise it for another’s.
Past versions of me fought hard to be here, and here is not the airport. Here is the human who is practicing and pursuing peace and potential with every inhale in and every exhale out. Here, as in someone who is able to fly beyond the fear and gravity of this human experience and remain grounded in the fullest faith. Something has me. And something has you. Ever since I handed the reins and roads of my experience to that Higher Power—Love Supreme, Consciousness, Divinity, God, whatever we want to call it—I have been able to find my way in ways I never knew I could. Like being here, this time, at the airport, ready to reach a destiny my heart and soul have dreamed about before I ever even knew it was there, let alone could be.
Maybe what I am feeling within my body is more than butterflies. Maybe it is destiny. Maybe it’s the way something moves from what it is and what it’s been to what it was always meant to be. And although it can feel like quite a distance between me and that which I hope to see in all its fullest fruition—myself included—I have to rest in the assurance that it is already happening. I am already happening.
I wonder what each and all of our well-being would be like if we had the access, the opportunity, the fierce and full faith and courage to trust our most wild of dreams and most abundant of hopes. I wonder what our bodies and minds would feel like if we weren’t held captive by old conditioning and unjust circumstances. I wonder how we would move through the world, and all the ways the world would move through us, if we had more connection to our truths and more trust to honor those knowings. I am aware of just how unattainable that may all seem, and yet I encourage each of us to challenge those doubts and do the very powerful thing: to dream as though our very futures and fate depend upon it. For they do. And there is power in our dreams.
I want to co-create and co-exist within a world where we know the very pitters and patters of sensation within our bellies—that stir and shake of excitement, of joy, of “Wow, wow, wow, you really are about to take that leap, you really are about to take that journey, you really are about to make that dream come true.” Which means we’ve got to leap, we’ve got to land, and we’ve got to let ourselves stretch beyond the known ways of being in our own bodies and being in our shared world.
The Fallas family and their land have given me more than I can yet place into words. There’s an energy there, and it is one of pure connection. The Spirit of everything is felt there in a way I have yet to find, yet to feel, in this world. This trip is held with the intention of putting plans into action that would open up the opportunity for others to have an experience of such richness, pureness, and beauty. A wellness retreat space that is un-colonized and intentional about resourcing and sustaining those who are directly involved and one with the land, the legacy, and the life that is Costa Rica.
I am feeling it all—the nerves, the excitement, the sense of something bigger moving within me and around me. This leap I am taking, once again, toward Costa Rica is not just about returning to a place I love, but about continuing to meet the version of myself that knows how to live fully, deeply, and authentically.
As I board my flight, I carry with me the vision of a future where others too can find themselves in the spaciousness of this sacred land, where they can connect to something pure, to something real—just as I have. And though the distance between where I stand now and all that is still to come may feel wide, I trust in the guidance of the wings within me. It is already happening. I am already happening. And as I follow this path with faith, I know the journey will continue to unfold in ways even more wondrous than I can imagine.
please feel free to share your thoughts as well as any dreams and destiny you are feeling
SOAR! Keri, SOAR!
Listen to your belly...