Grief and Love Beyond Boundaries

Lessons from Pet Loss and Political Tides

It’s an act of bravery to sit with grief, to honor it, and to share it. There’s healing in this shared space—gratitude for the love we’ve known. We need each other, and we need reminders that we don’t have to face grief alone.

Julie Hirt

and I created the Grief, Ground, and Gratitude circle almost a year ago, and each month it fills with people embodying compassion and connection. Every gathering reminds us that grief is dynamic—it has no “right way.” It’s ever-changing, just as love is, and in these spaces, we find comfort in knowing that we aren’t alone.

This past Sunday, I had the privilege of holding space for our monthly grief circle, a sanctuary for those mourning the loss of animals. It’s a place for anyone who has loved and lost an animal, whether that parting came through death, distance, or transition. It’s for those who know the pain of losing the physical presence of an unconditional companion—the truest of friends, the grounding that animal connection brings.

In these circles, we’re reminded that grief and love are inseparable. We carry these emotions not as burdens but as invitations to grow, to open our hearts, and to reconnect with the sacred. I am reminded daily of my own love and grief for my animals. Losing both of my parents suddenly and traumatically didn’t prepare me for the impact of saying goodbye to Carlos and Lola. They were the ones who helped me navigate the loss of my parents, the ones who opened my heart when all I wanted was to close it. They rose to every occasion, especially when humans in my life fell short. They were my solid ground, reflecting love and worth back to me so purely.

For the past three years, I’ve carried their love and grief within me. Even without their physical presence, they’ve shown me they’re still here, from sounds in the night to hawks and crows gracing the sky, to the purple and blue orbs that appear in my vision. They find ways to remind me, “We’re here.” Their love has even touched our current fur family, Mani and Ana. Just like all beings, they are here with purpose: to love. They guide us to our peace, our power, and our potential.

Animals have so much to teach us, and it amazes me how we, as humans, often view ourselves as superior. This hierarchy causes so much suffering. When we believe that any life is beneath us, it distorts how we see ourselves and each other, leading to harm. Animals simply know their truth and their purpose, and they wait for us to find ours. Yet so many of us are disconnected from our own humanity and disregard lives different from our own. How did we come to be this way? I don’t have the answer, but I do believe there’s magic and healing in coming together with others who understand the waves of grief and love that wash over us. Grief is part of us, woven into our souls.

At our last grief circle, Tyson’s memory guided us. Tyson, a rescued dog who taught me the value of short but profound connections, passed in October. Tyson had been saved just before my first trip to the Fallas Coffee Plantation, where he lived. He became a friend, his loyalty and gentleness quickly earning my trust. When I left, he lay outside my door for a full day, howling in mourning. Even in his short time with me, Tyson reminded me that love and grief are not bound by time. Our connection was real, and that love continues to ripple through my life. His passing reminded me of how grief is not linear. It’s not about a timeline, and there’s no “right way” to grieve. We’re all allowed to feel it in our own unique way. Tyson’s presence, though brief, taught me the deep truth of grief: it’s personal, dynamic, and enduring.

Tyson’s loss reminded me that grief, like love, is diverse. It refuses to be confined by the narrowness of ego and asks us to honor its full spectrum. Whether our time together was long, short, or somewhere in between, what matters is the love that endures.

And as I think about that circle, the memories, and what it meant to come together in that way, I feel the parallels between grief and this political moment—a time where deep division and differing values are testing relationships, eroding common ground, and making it harder to connect. Just as grief can isolate us, so too can our differences—our beliefs, convictions, and fears about the unknown. But grief also shows us that, at our core, we share the same hopes and vulnerabilities. Sitting with my memories of Tyson, and all he taught me about loyalty and presence, I’m reminded of the compassion we offer one another when our hearts are raw. I wonder if we could reach across these divides as tenderly as we hold our sorrow, recognizing that our differences don’t diminish our shared humanity but rather add to its richness.

Tyson, in his short time with me, taught me what it means to love without question, to show up every day, resilient and undeterred. His spirit, his loyalty, his ability to give love freely, even after moments of hurt or separation, left a mark on my heart. It’s a lesson I carry with me: a love that goes beyond boundaries, a resilience that endures even when the world feels fragile. In moments of heaviness, when grief threatens to overwhelm or divisions feel too wide to bridge, I remember his strength. I wonder if we, too, could love as fearlessly as he did, if we could bring more gentleness into the world, even when it feels like everything is breaking.

Grief, like love, requires space. When we make room for it, when we honor it instead of pushing it away, it has the power to connect us—to bring us together in understanding and shared humanity. I find myself hoping we can extend this same space to the conflicts and divides that threaten to pull us apart, making room for each other’s truths, holding space for each other’s pain. Because at the end of it all, we are part of the same circle, bound by threads of love, loss, and longing. What if we dared to live by that, as Tyson did—unconditional in love, unbroken by differences, resilient and openhearted to the last?

As I reflect on Tyson’s memory and the shared grief in our circle, I realize that there is a parallel between the grief in our hearts and the grief we witness in the world. Our society, bound by binaries and quick to divide, often demands that we fit into neat boxes. But we are unique, dynamic, and diverse beings—and so is our love and grief. The more we honor this within ourselves, the more readily we can share it with the world. If we opened ourselves to the depth of our love, we would understand the depth of our losses, too.

This brings me to a broader reflection—one that connects the personal to the collective. In this political moment, where division is intense and so many relationships bear the weight of differing values, our work is to live beyond these boundaries. We can live through the grief and beyond it, finding ways to transcend the walls that separate us. It is possible to embrace love and grief as teachers, to see the humanity in every moment and every being. Tyson’s message continues to echo in my heart: love transcends time and space, and it is through that love that we can heal.

As we come together in these circles, as we acknowledge our losses and our grief, we are reminded of our shared humanity. Love and grief are our common threads, weaving us together in ways that words cannot capture. Together, we can honor our griefs, our loves, and our losses, and create a world where healing is possible. It’s time for us to live into the space that grief and love create—not as limitations but as invitations for growth, healing, and connection.

So here’s what I’m asking of myself and maybe, by sharing this, of you: let’s extend that spaciousness to the world around us. Let’s make room, even when it’s hard, for the complexities, misunderstandings, and fractures. Just like in the grief circle, where each sorrow has its place, maybe there’s space here too—for healing, rebuilding, and choosing connection over division. Because if Tyson taught me anything, it’s that real love holds on. It makes room. It stays.

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