the in-between
a wild ride of what was, is, and still can be...
wow-wee, I have been tired these last couple days and curious if you have too? I am learning to set aside my idea of how things need to be and simply and sweetly greet my body and tend to all my tired and rest…
tired is not weakness. it is just a sign that I need to rest and resource myself, for I am worthy of that salve, and dear friend and reader, so are you.
we are in a moment, y’all… a real moment of cosmic forces meeting our planetary pulse and politics. A divine and damn timing of ethereal encouragement to use the tired, the tender, the traumatic, and all the bliss and beauty in between, of this here and now, to create the liberation we all have been missing…
we are literally spinning in a portal right now between two doors, two eclipses, and the balancing and blocking action of both sun and moon. on March 25th, we entered the doors with a full moon lunar eclipse and on April 8th, we will leave them with the new moon solar eclipse. this extraordinary planetary moment of lunar feels, emotions, and shifting tides, balanced with the solar energy of ignition, illumination, and all the beginnings of what can still be.
it’s an exciting and exhausting evolutionary time.
and in addition to the power and portal of eclipses, we also have been gravitationaly pulled into Mercury retrograde, a time where we meet the parts and patterns of us- the submerged, the buried, the not yet tended to, it all tends to come right to the forefront of the surface during these times. the old lessons not yet mastered as well as the opportunities missed have a way of finding us front and center sharing with us yet another opportunity to grow again - yay!
it really is a powerful time to get clear on what it is we want and what it is we are willing to let go of to actualize our getting there… not just personally, yet collectively.
and that’s just the cosmos!
I also have been feeling the planetary, the political, and the personal realignments and stirrings all working together and working with me to release and remember, i have power here, too. I can change things. I must change things. Inward and out.
It’s as though every degree and depth of discomfort is the actual direction towards and out of the patterns that fix us into place. And in order for me to get more clear and aligned to the next expansion of my heart and all that wants to emerge, there’s a prerequisite of release…
and truthfully, it feels like my business… it feels like these last 4 years have just been preparing me to do that really brave and necessary choice of now, and to let that old model, make, and mold go, like completely go, so i can move forward as me, Keri Ann Garcia Kenney, no longer seen as a business, yet a being and a being who is ready to take flight and know her power, wingspan, and all that can still be. and it’s not easy to say and has been difficult at times to allow it to be, the truth that i need to let this go, i need to step outside it’s bounds, and begin to yet again, come home to me.
i’m between the spaces of what was - which feels much farther away than what can be, i’m gettin’ close, y’all… we’re getting close - and what can be - who I can be and how life can be… as dreams are dying inside me new ones are birthing - filling me up with images and intentions of retreats and leadership opportunities, spaces and webs that really hold us, hold me, and all without holding any of us back… I am dreaming of communal care and conscious collaborations beyond ego and greed. These dreams are only being generated through the grief and guidance, the knowing, that it just may be time to let alignment 8 go, as that chapter and journey of my life feels farther and further away everyday… and the “what will be” feels to be getting a little clearer and closer every breath of every day… confirmation it’s okay to crumble and it’s okay to leap…
so much can be created in the spaciousness of the absence of what was and that excites me. Fear will want me to cling. Uncertainty will want me to create constants in an ever changing reality and world. and Faith tells me to breathe.
With COVID, I held on, I tried to transform, I tried to adapt in all the ways I could to meet you and me and the moment we were in. For four years I have held on to a dream that was doing all it could to let me know it was time to let it go… and as many structures that I have had the blessing and privilege to hold space on and with, none have felt as sustainable and supportive as those 4 walls on wackerly avenue and all they held, we held, and created - together in that space and time.
there was a spirit there - and that Spirit continues to guide me… and guide us all…
I’m so proud of knowing I can let go, knowing I can choose to leave, knowing I can take a leap… and it is my utmost honor to remind you that you can, too.
all too many get lost in this space of in-between and I really believe it is a portal where we can be found. Where we can exfoliate, re-imagine, and dream a new dream more aligned and authentic to the version you are now and vision of better we are all bringing to life and becoming. I just wonder what life would be life for us all if we trusted more of the inner guidance and goodness from within that speaks to us through the discomfort, through the frustrations, through the tensions, stucks, and sucks of life all begging us to pay attention and listen… and maybe just maybe, leave, let it fall and fade it away, let it be forgiven and freed… maybe, just maybe.
Can we be open to using this space of being in between - in between the structures and stories that may have and must have held us and brought us here as well as the courageous choice of letting those forms to some degree crumble, fall apart, fade away, dissolve behind us, a trusting dance of dismantling and still remembering to dream - still seeing beyond the ways it was and is - all in hopes of something even more integral to the whole of you and the whole of me?
I wonder…
and I am so very tired…
I’ll take it as a wonderful invitation to dream.
