what to do
taking up space in this moment
I’ve been quiet on here… I’ve been in great contemplation as well as conflict as to what is my work in this now… and what i have realized in the space of that confliction, the battle of my brain reminding me of how little of the “facts” I have and my heart reminding me of all the “feels” I have within my chest, my breath, my entire body…and in that space of contemplation meeting confliction a realization came over me, relaxing into the ease as well as the awareness that no matter the statistics, no matter the history, no matter what circumstances have played out past, present, and future, intentional genocide, massacre, and any degree and dynamic of oppression needs my voice, needs my heart, needs me to recognize the inhumanity and humanity in them, me and you, this moment begs of us all to feel and not for a moment let the thought of our own ignorance, individualism, and idea that there could ever be any sense or sort of justification keep us from finding our way through and to our own advocacy, activism, and all the art we are here to create, together and individually.
these times beg of us to feel. and when I do the conflict settles in me and the sacred rage and reckoning of knowing within me that brutality, war, genocide, massacre, any and all things not holy and no human should ever have to experience, witness, and in some way hope to and must repair, is wrong, is unjust, and needs each and all of us to take space in this moment in anyway we can, but first dear ones, we gotta feel… we gotta slow down long enough to let the awareness come back to body, not the belief systems of thought, identity, and all the ways we thought and think it has to be.
we cannot think our way through violence- we must feel. and our mind wants to protect the ego, and our hearts want to protect the peace of us all… conflict… happening and will continue to happen in and out of me, so what can i do… and what does this moment need? and what i feel dear friends is that we need to breathe.
we need to breathe deeply in to our belly. even right now, here with me and this awareness of your breath, can you guide it down into your belly, allowing your breath and your belly to gently rise and rest in that spaciousness, and slowly, exhaling your breath and feeling your belly gently rest at the bottom. can you do that again? and again? and again?
in every moment, there we are, you and i and all of us in this connectivity of somehow someway finding our way here and now, to keep coming home our breath, gently filling the belly, and gently allowing it to fall.
what if our own regulation, our own return to ease, and relationship with peace, what if that could be the very remedy and way - if just for now…
i will keep coming home to my breath. and really allowing it to fill my entire belly. i will allow that to be my pace through my minds own mirages and to the longing of my cells, spirit, and soul- i just want us well, i just want us to return to peace, i just want to put the armor and ammunition down, i just want to grieve and greet what is here with the honesty and humanity it all deserves. i just want to know this won’t continue. or ever happen again. i just want us to wake up. and feel.
i just want us free…
so i will breathe. and i will invite you into that space with me as often as i can. i will continue to make us uncomfortable in the most evolutionary ways. I will. I must. and i hope with all my heart and breath, that you will too.
